17 June, 2005

Zombie Myths?

I will definitely have to concur with Wheelz on this issue. In observation of a zombie it is obvious that one thing they lack is simple muscle coordination. A zombie can barely walk in a straight line. Dr. Hugo Peco's suggestion would require the very muscles that require the blood to be the ones pumping the blood. Additionally there would be a great deal of pooling of blood in the heart itself. Pressure would begin to build up very quickly around the heart itself because the valves that regulate blood flow through the heart would not be functioning. This would result in either the blood stagnating, or the bursting of a blood vessel somewhere in the body, causing massive blood loss, and inevitably death.

There are many other serious problems with this theory, but the Dr. does not even attempt to make any explanation for his classification of reanimation as a zombie myth. Additionally he does not make an attempt to explain the reasoning behind any of his other myth classifications. For instance on the same page sited by Wheelz Dr. Hugo makes a claim regarding the consumption of brains by zombies: "well-fed zombies can afford to be discriminating. They will generally eat the more nutritious brains and bone marrow and leave the rest of the corpse untouched. However, a hungry zombie will leave only the bones." Notice that he says the "more nutritious brains." Though he may just be making a reference to brains as being more nutritious than other body parts so those more educated in the nutrition of various body parts can understand which body part he refers to here, he his most likely referring to the nutritional needs of the zombie. Now if the zombie is merely a person in a coma, but still living as Dr. Hugo claims than there may be some validity to this point. However if nutrition is the zombies concern, there are far more nutritious options for the zombie i.e. fruits, vegetables, lean meats(not that fatty stuff found on the typical human), grains, pasta, and a healthy dose of vitamins. In fact a zombie would more likely become a model citizen in terms of diet if we use Dr. Hugo's logic.

The reality is that in terms of diet no one really knows why zombies eat anything. They do not gain any nutritional value from what they eat. Their entire digestive system is shut down. It is actually not beneficial for the zombie to eat anything. What the zombie has eaten will continue to pile up in its stomach until it bursts. However I do agree that zombie’s showing a preference for brains is a myth. A zombie really has no preference in what part of the body it chooses. Generally soft tissues are the first to go. Brains are not generally consumed by the zombie because they are much more difficult body part to access. The Zombie Survival Guide is a great reference for information like this.

I am personally not impressed with Dr. Hugo. His logic is very lacking, and the "observations" he cites are questionable to say the least. Though there are many popular misconceptions about zombies I believe the Dr. is merely attempting to garner publicity by making outrageous claims concerning widely accepted facts about zombies. If Dr. Hugo was able to produce more evidence, or at the very least publish more extensively some of his own research I would be more willing to consider his theories. As it stands however, the man is insane.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Siguardo said...

You are friggin' hilarious...friggin' hilarious with too much time on your hands.

1:07 PM, June 18, 2005  
Blogger Mikey said...

this is time well spent sigaurdo, when ur gettin munched on because u weren't prepared for the outbreak, who will be laughin then!

9:38 PM, June 19, 2005  
Anonymous Courtney said...

I dont belive in zombies....Im just here for an assignment thingy we had to do at skool

7:06 PM, June 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah it is pretty rediculous, you guys spend so much time in preparation, that you waste what life you do have waiting for your death..why dont you live life to its fullest and use common sense if this 'apocalypse'were ever to occur? if you plan on running away from the zombies then go out and jog maybe, instead of sitting at home, gathering reserves and stroking your shotgun awaiting the day...but thats just my thought, afterall...those zombies love to eat slow moving ones :)

8:47 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Tebulot said...

Okay anonymous...
If you want to dis the guys who *are* using their common sense and gathering reserves and actually have a shotgun, with a real z-day plan... well if you would rather run away from zombies with no plan and no supplies... i can't wait till i see you on the side of the road, begging for a lift as we *mercifully* shoot you in the head.

9:12 PM, August 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok tebulot is sooo right...and anonymous, as for you i should personally chase your ass down and beat the shit out of you for being so stupid...and believe me, if i see you on the side of the road begging for a lift, i will be the first to blow your fucking brains out. ↨crush the will of the weak↨

8:21 AM, May 08, 2008  
Blogger Kyle said...

Im not totally convinced that zombies will be the apocalypse im much more inclined to belive that some angry country gets ahold of nuclear wepons and launches them around the world or the suns radition killing and destroying the earth and its inhabitants.Im just not convinced if you have any proof try to convince me but untill then im gona worry bout somethin else

2:36 PM, June 12, 2011  
Anonymous Tanner said...

The whole idea of the zombie virus even existing is ridiculous, not to mention all the problems listed here. And, by the way, is there any site to post comments on that does not involve **** and **** and so on?

10:24 PM, July 06, 2011  

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