A New Perspective on the Fourth of July

Most people think of fireworks as being a celebration of the 4th of July. But have you ever thought that - especially for those of us who consider protection from zombies a matter of grave importance - the 4th of July should be a celebration of fireworks?

Zombies, of course, take pause (unless they're stars in "Land of the Dead") to stare at fireworks making it safe for the living to kill them. This holiday thus has twice the significance for me. I love my country and I love to kill zombies. How much better can a holiday get?

So on the fourth while you're staring at the fireworks please be sure to take pause and reflect on the wonderful source of protection said fireworks provide from the undead.