17 July, 2005

Doesn't this sound opposite?

This week the Beeb carried the headline, "The disease that makes people zombies".

Naturally I was excited to read the article, thinking some new and exciting Solanum research was about to be reported.

Au Contraire. The article claims, "This is an infection that carries nightmarish qualities, reducing many of its victims to a zombie-like state before they go into a coma and die."

Now, I agree that Solanum certainly brings about nightmarish qualities - but isn't the zombie-like state supposed to come AFTER they go into a coma and die?

16 July, 2005

Virtual Zombie Survival

Training for a large scale breakout of zombies is an extremely difficult thing to do. This scale of cataclysm has never taken place, and so when it does it's difficult to know exactly what to expect. I am pleased to see that there are a number of virtual training options surfacing. One of note is Urban Dead. It's still in the beginning stages, but it looks like it has a lot of potential. If you decide you could use a little zombie training look for me, my name is Father McGruder.

11 July, 2005

Zombie hunting pro's?

Alright these guys are clearly amateurs. Don’t they realize that fire is very dangerous and really should only be used to destroy piles of already eliminated zombies? The picture is also very questionable as to its effectiveness at killing zombies. Did they lure the zombies into the car and then ignite it? Which of course is clearly such a complicated way of combating the undead. These guys would be more of a liability than an ally in the event of a zombie attack.

10 July, 2005

Bad Wardrobe

You know, for being purported professional zombie hunters these guys over at "Zombieology - Human Re-Animation Containment Specialists" aren't dressing very properly for their profession. Look at these suits. They could easily tear, making it easy for zombie saliva to get through when bit. Step into some leather, boys - this isn't a game.

07 July, 2005

Zombie Dog

I found this picture of my dog recently and it made me think. If my dog was wandering around a bunch of zombies, would they eat him or think of him as a zombie. Then that led me to think. How do zombies recognize other zombies. The film Shaun of the Dead made a pass that all you had to do to fool a zombie was to walk slowly and moan. Resident Evil on the other hand works on the assumption that it's all a virus and the virus knows what other things have the virus in it. Do they just smell the living blood coursing through our vains? Obviously not all zombies have eyes so there's got to be something that attracts zombies to people. If that is so, and it is some kind of scent or noise or visual cue, could there be a possibility of producing something that could make us virtually invisible to zombies? Could there be something that makes a zombie think that we are a zombie and pass us right by?

Impressed with the choices

I was impressed by people’s choices on our latest poll. 53% of you chose a weapon that does not require ammo. Guns are often given too much credit when it comes to zombie killing. Someone could be an excellent marksman, but than become easily overwhelmed by zombies in close quarter situations. A person needs to realize that the zombies who pose the greatest threat are those that are able to make it within reaching distance. Hopefully your marksmanship skills will give you the ability to keep zombies at a safe distance, but the worse case scenario is what you need to be prepared for.

I chose the sword, and would choose a specific sword if possible. The katana used by the Japanese Samurai. In skilled hands this would be an excellent choice for close quarter combat. With the quick powerful moves used in kenjutsu or the more modern kendo, a person could make quick work any zombie within blade reach. Additionally training yourself in a martial art would increase your reflexes and awareness while out of battle as well. The majority of zombie bites after a large-scale breakout result from people being caught off guard by a zombie stumbling out of some dark hiding spot.

Unfortunately mastering these arts takes time. I would recommend starting now while the threat of dealing with zombies in close quarters is not as immediate. Preparation will be the key to survival.

Latest Poll Results

It's time to give the results of the latest poll. Thank you all, once again, for participating.

This poll was fairly evenly spread out among the answers, each answer receiving at least 1 vote. So here they are:

12 gauge - 00-buck = 25%
Chainsaw = 21%
Sword = 18%
Baseball bat = 14%
12 gauge - slugs = 11%
Pistol of your choice = 7%
.22 Long-rifle (pistol or rifle form) = 4%

I thought the pistols would finish higher than they did. So that was one surprise to me. Chainsaw made a late run, almost making it to the top.

I'll let you all know - I chose the baseball bat for several reasons.
1. Baseball bats make for easy destruction of the brain when giving a full swing.
2. You don't have to worry about running out of ammo.
3. More stopping/knockdown power than any gun could hope to give you.
4. There's no worry of your weapon getting stuck in the zombie as there would be with a chainsaw or sword.
5. It's easy to be mobile with a bat (this is an advantage over the chainsaw, mostly).
6. It's easy to strike while on the move (this is an advantage over any of the guns).

I'd like to hear everyone else's arguments for their weapons of choice, so please feel free to add comments.

A new poll will be up hopefully by the end of the day. Again, thanks to all who participated.

03 July, 2005

A New Perspective on the Fourth of July

Most people think of fireworks as being a celebration of the 4th of July. But have you ever thought that - especially for those of us who consider protection from zombies a matter of grave importance - the 4th of July should be a celebration of fireworks?

Zombies, of course, take pause (unless they're stars in "Land of the Dead") to stare at fireworks making it safe for the living to kill them. This holiday thus has twice the significance for me. I love my country and I love to kill zombies. How much better can a holiday get?

So on the fourth while you're staring at the fireworks please be sure to take pause and reflect on the wonderful source of protection said fireworks provide from the undead.

01 July, 2005

Solanum as Prions

Sean Michael Ragan of the University of Texas at Austin has published an exciting new paper in the Journal of Zombie Science (6: 2005, 1519-1523) entitled "Etiology of Romero-Fulci Disease: The Case for Prions".

Ragan makes his case by arguing, contra Brooks, that Solanum is not, in fact, a virus but a disease caused by Prions and is thus more similar to Mad Cow Disease than AIDS.

I should note here that Ragan wants to throw out the "Solanum hypothesis" altogether since it is seen as such an inadequate explanation of the pertinent facts of RFD. I contend that even if Ragan is correct he would be wrong in throwing out the term "Solanum" purely because it isn't a virus. The term "Solanum" (correct me if I'm wrong on my history here, but I don't think I am) originally refered to a genus of plant that contains potatos and eggplants. It then was applied to that disease which brings about zombification, but does not contain anything in its definition that necessitates its being only applied to viruses. If this is the case then whether the disease is a mutation of ebola or an as-of-yet-undiscovered Prion is entirely irrelevant. The term Solanum can and should be used to reference the disease itself, not the organism which causes it. If Ragan is correct in his assessment, then Solanum should become the new name of that Prion.

Anyone interested in the technical side of zombological research should study this paper with vigor. If proven true this paper represents the biggest breakthrough in zombological research in probably 30 years.